These are Just Vessels

Not long ago I was in a room surrounded by amazing women. These women had birthed children, were compassionate mothers, many had college degrees, some were successful career women. They were loving wives and loyal friends. They were smart, funny, articulate. Each of them was beautiful.

And yet?

One of the primary themes of conversation was... their bodies. The shape, the size, how hard it was to love them. What other lady's bodies looked like. They "should" run. They "shouldn't" eat that donut or drink that mimosa.

And I felt incredibly sad. We are a debilitated population. This conversation is indicative of what women everywhere spend their time and brainpower on. How much farther along would we be if women could take that energy and instead spend it on increasing our compassion, furthering our interests, or inventing things. Improving the world and loving ourselves. Our REAL selves, not our vessels.

And this is not a reprimand towards those women. It is what was on their minds. They should be able to express their thoughts, whatever they are, to their friends. But it incredibly sad to me that this is what their thoughts are.

So to all you women in that room (as I know some of you will read this) and all the other women (and men) out there who struggle with their body image, you are perfect. You look wonderful naked. I love you.

New Years, again!

I reread my resolutions from last year.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

They were to watch less tv (fail), go in more adventures (fail), and eat dinner at the table (fail).

So this year I'm having two resolutions I think I can enjoy carrying through on. They are;

1. Have more fun!
2. Make this house a home. Unless, of course, that interferes with number one.

Anybody else with me on this? Let's just all have more fun!

Home

We got our confirmation today.

We own a house.

We own a piece of land.

We own the spot where our youngest son was born.

I am a card carrying member of the best community I have ever known. Nobody can make me leave.

But with this gift, this freedom, comes a heaviness. Taking care of this small plot of land will be a huge labor of love. I know much, much more of our blood, sweat, and tears will go into this place and I'm ok with that.

In me I have a wanderlust, a need for change. But I could not be happier to know that my kids and I will always have a refuge, a home base, a safe place to anchor ourselves on.

And now? It's time for champagne!

My Brain is Turning to Mush

Caring for small children is important and rewarding work. One of the most influential jobs out there, honestly. But...

Let's just say it doesn't strain my mental faculties most days.

In order to help stimulate some grey matter, I am going to be doing a series of book reports. Think one sided book club for someone who doesn't have time to go to an actual book club.

I have a few books on my list but I'm also taking suggestions. If you say, "Twilight" I'm blocking you. :)

Unconditional Parenting

I'm lying here awake, sandwiched between three little boys, reflecting. I know they'll be wide awake in a few short hours but I can't sleep.

Tonight I'm thinking about unconditional parenting. If any of you have kids, will have kids, or even talk to kids sometimes, I think you should read it. It's by Alfie Kohn and is titled simply "Unconditional Parenting."

This book has really resonated with me. So much so that I started a Facebook group just to discuss it with people. It explains and organizes so many of the things I had felt to be right, but wasn't always confident enough to implement.

The incredibly short version of it is that children need unconditional love to grow and flourish. The trap of rewards and punishments that have been the mainstay of American parenting for generations detracts from this and hinders a child's growth. Wow. And he has the studies to back this up.

Does this mean I always implement it? No. Does reading this book mean I magically refrain from coercing my children to do my bidding? No. But I am so thankful to now have a goal. I am so glad someone wrote down and explained what I'd been floundering to understand on my own.

And lastly, one of the most wonderful side effects of this is joy. I am not there yet, but when you give up the power struggle and selfishness that inhibits parents from working with their children, you can move to win win solutions. And then everyone is happy and life is more enjoyable. I can't wait until I can be there everyday instead just occasionally. It takes a long time to relearn something you've seen countless times, everyday, since you were born.

Embracing Plan "B"

For more than a year we have been through some incredibly hard ups and downs trying to buy a house. I just wanted it so bad! I thought if we just tried hard enough, it would work. I could hardly even think about it not working without feeling sick.

But now, I am realizing it's probably not going to happen. And you know what? I am FINE with it! Why? I have some awesome plan "b"s lined up.

I don't really want to say what they are because they are in the initial stages jut they range from as boring as just renting this same house for awhile to having crazy adventures. I'm ok with either!

Do you guys have a plan "b?"

I can use blogger on my phone!

Here's a little peak at my life.