Our Inner Misogynist

I was having lunch yesterday with one of my oldest and dearest friends. She is someone I would definitely consider a feminist. She seems to be an empowered woman who doesn't buy into stereotypes. She is strong and goes after what she wants with a gusto. That's part of why this struck me so much.

We were talking about jealous boyfriends and girlfriends. She said something along the lines of women are just crazy. She quickly added, "That's my inner misogynist talking."

So if she of all people has an inner misogynist, don't we all? And isn't it great that even though it's there, she can recognize it and therefore dismiss it? Wouldn't the first step in getting rid of it in all of us be that we first have to realize it's there and learn to recognize it?

I'm sure most of you women would never think that you hate women. You'd probably say you love women. After all, you are one. But do you really?

Ask yourself, have you ever called another girl a "slut" or a "tease?" Would you stop your son from putting on nail polish or wearing a dress? Do you tolerate being treated with disrespect?

Misogyny is so incredibly rooted in our society that so often, we don't even recognize it. And that is wonderful for all the men who are afraid of women. If we hate ourselves, they don't have to do a damn thing. We will keep ourselves down. Just the other day I read an NPR headline, "Can the first lady of France seduce voters?" Um, what? Are women so pathetically useless that our only contribution is to have people want to have sex with us? Women accept this and berate each other for being too sexy, not sexy enough, making some ridiculous duck face, staying home with our kids, not staying home with our kids, etc.

The answer is not to think that women are better than men. But it is imperative that we realize that the male and female are like the yin and yang. Both must be present and celebrated in order to maintain a balance in society. The female is just as important as the male. Please think about this next time you want to criticize another woman.

The stupid things that get in the way.

It is a beautiful winter morning here. Clear and gorgeous. Something we don't get all that often in February in the Pacific Northwest. And you know the first thing I thought when I woke up this morning?

"Damn groundhog's going to see his shadow. Why can't it be raining?"

What?!

Now, I'm all for the fun of holidays, even ridiculous ones that center around rodents with ridiculous names. But why on earth should that ruin my day? Why would I be anything but grateful for an extra dose of vitamin D?

How often do little things like this ruin what ought to be a good day? (And by "little things like this," I mean you, because it is, after all, all you in there.) It's called being a pessimist. It's called seeing the glass as half empty. And it's no way to live.

I am trying really hard to embrace this mentality. Our house doesn't have a dishwasher. Awesome! I never had to worry about it breaking. I don't have to buy dishwasher soap. Look at all this extra cabinet space I have! The bananas went brown too fast, what a great opportunity to try a new recipe for banana cake! The kids and I are all sick. I'm so glad our immune systems get this great opportunity to gain strength.

With bigger things, it can be a lot harder. But with the little things, there really is no excuse. "Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators and Weather Prophet Extraordinary" should not be affecting my day!