Our Inner Misogynist

I was having lunch yesterday with one of my oldest and dearest friends. She is someone I would definitely consider a feminist. She seems to be an empowered woman who doesn't buy into stereotypes. She is strong and goes after what she wants with a gusto. That's part of why this struck me so much.

We were talking about jealous boyfriends and girlfriends. She said something along the lines of women are just crazy. She quickly added, "That's my inner misogynist talking."

So if she of all people has an inner misogynist, don't we all? And isn't it great that even though it's there, she can recognize it and therefore dismiss it? Wouldn't the first step in getting rid of it in all of us be that we first have to realize it's there and learn to recognize it?

I'm sure most of you women would never think that you hate women. You'd probably say you love women. After all, you are one. But do you really?

Ask yourself, have you ever called another girl a "slut" or a "tease?" Would you stop your son from putting on nail polish or wearing a dress? Do you tolerate being treated with disrespect?

Misogyny is so incredibly rooted in our society that so often, we don't even recognize it. And that is wonderful for all the men who are afraid of women. If we hate ourselves, they don't have to do a damn thing. We will keep ourselves down. Just the other day I read an NPR headline, "Can the first lady of France seduce voters?" Um, what? Are women so pathetically useless that our only contribution is to have people want to have sex with us? Women accept this and berate each other for being too sexy, not sexy enough, making some ridiculous duck face, staying home with our kids, not staying home with our kids, etc.

The answer is not to think that women are better than men. But it is imperative that we realize that the male and female are like the yin and yang. Both must be present and celebrated in order to maintain a balance in society. The female is just as important as the male. Please think about this next time you want to criticize another woman.